Tuesday, July 21, 2009

He's My Mayor

(Tune: Tom Lehrer's She's My Girl)

Bats gotta fly, and sharks gotta swim
I gotta mayor who went out on a limb
To Ed or Dick or Pete
He may be just a cheat
But to me, well,
He's my mayor

He hid a romance with a teenage boy
Acted holier-than-thou, a dubious ploy
His lies to the press
Have caused me much duress
But he's my mayor, he's my mayor, he's my mayor,
And I hate him.

The mayor I supported
So reckless when he courted
His scandal much reported
His reputation swarted
The mayor who distorted
Is the mayor hell has meant for me.

And now there's a recall since the mayor won't go
He says he's still ruling but it's all ego
He keeps digging a hole
He keeps losing control
But oh well, what the hell,
He's my mayor,
And I hate him.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Home Town

(Tune: Tom Lehrer's My Home Town)

I really have a yen
To go back once again
To a time when honesty was cool
To see once more those super-special just plain folks
Who we let rule

No fellow could ignore
The councilman next door
Who always had a handshake and a grin
And if you slipped him several hundred on the sly
Your cause would win

I remember Sam
A most progressive mayor
He really was a player
Till he slipped
He found a teenage boy
And kissed him on the lips
He then denied it all
And hence began his fall

The man who was top cop
And hated micks and wops
Or anyone with whom he'd disagree
He liked to corner secretaries in the hall
And set them free

I remember Hank
He was the corner poet
And always let you know it
With his grin
He liked to parody
The mayor's every sin
And pass the poems around
Up and down the streets in town

These were the folks who ruled
Who really kept us fooled
It really isn't different much today
We always get the very leaders we deserve
That's what they say

I Think About Your Lies, Sam

(Tune: Tom Lehrer's I Hold Your Hand In Mine)

I think about your lies, Sam
I think of them today
I wonder if they're bad enough
That you must go away
There's a recall petition
I wonder, should I sign?
I think about your lies, Sam
I can't make up my mind

When you confessed, I almost cried
How could you be so dumb?
I voted for you with such hope
Today you're just a bum

I'm signing the petition
Since how else can I say?
I think about your lies, Sam
I think of them today

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Masochism Tango

(Tune: Tom Lehrer's Masochism Tango)

I ache for the lie from your lips, Sam,
But more for the video clips, Sam.
How you deceive
And overachieve
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Let my faith in you weather this recall,
Say it's me that you'll never disenthrall.
Betray my trust,
Turn worser to worst,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

At your command
Before you here I stand,
Your career in my hand,
It's here that I must be.
My faith will never wane,
My vote never abstain,
It's not you who's to blame,
So come and lie to me.

Your lies have the beauty of starlight,
They're convincing -- and even in daylight.
My trust is so pure
That it smells like manure
(I'm no great paramour
When we tango).

Corrupt my youth
Do everything uncouth
Do anything to win.
Who cares if you lie?
No one will ask why
So betray me once again.

In public be cool and committed
To city affairs counterfeited.
Remember the rule:
The public's a fool
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

The Recall Rag

(Tune: Tom Lehrer's Vatican Rag)

Look around and find the sign
Step right up, you're just in time
Think about the mayor's shame and
Sign-your-name, sign-your-name, sign-your-name!

We need 50,000 signatures
In three months, that's lots of work for sure
Citizens participate
There's no time to hestitate
Doin' the Recall Rag.

What's at stake is how the city works
Do we answer lies with deeds or shirks?
Every time a politician smirks
Citizens can fight with fireworks.
Do your part, sign the petition
Apathy's the great addiction
Two, four, six, eight
Time for Sam to abdicate!

So step up and do your part
Bring your friends and show some heart
Think about the mayor's shame and
Sign-your-name, sign-your-name, sign-your-name!

Put your name down on the paper
Hurry up, it's getting later
Think of your children
They know what you're doin'
Gathering wherewithal
Time for an overhaul
Doin' the Recall Rag!