Saturday, January 31, 2009

Adams' Nah-Eve

Are you an Adams' Nah-Eve?
Nah, he's not a crook.
Nah, he's still a good man.
Nah, I'm not naive.

Are you an Adams' Nah-Eve?
Nah, he's not disliked.
Nah, not ineffective.
Nah, I'm not in grief.

Are you an Adams' Nah-Eve?
Nah, he's not slowed down.
Nah, not treading water.
Nah, I'm not deceived.

Are you an Adams' Nah-Eve?
Nah, not in denial.
Nah, no numbered days.
Nah, I'm not naive.

Get Out Of Town

(Tune: "Get Out Of Town")

Get out of town
Before it's too late for you
Get out of town
Be good to me please

Why do this harm
Don't you see our alarm
Move away where you can charm
Others with your tease

Just disappear
This city has much to do
And when you're near, I always fear,
You won't be true

The stress when we meet, knowing you cheat,
Is draining, it's getting me down
So on your mark, get set
Get out of town

Friday, January 30, 2009

Hey There

(Tune: "Hey There")

Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes
Lies never made a fool of you
You used to be too wise
Hey there, you on that high-flyin' cloud
You think the mayor's changed his ways
You miss the true range of his ways

Better forget him
Him with the fork-ed tongue
He has you dancin' on a string
And your time will come

Won't you take this advice
I hand you like a brother
Or are you not seein' things too clear
Politics filters what you hear
Is it all goin' in one ear and out the other?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mendacity

(Tune: "Old Devil Moon")

I look at you and suddenly
Something in your eyes I see
Soon begins upsetting me
It's your mendacity
That is filled with your lies
It's that mendacity
In your eyes

You and your glance
Make circumstance
Too hot to handle
Fires in hell
Burning farewell
Can't hold a candle
To your razzle dazzle

You've made yourself a mockery
Lies coming fast in twos and threes
Tainting City Hall abnormally
It's your mendacity
That has lost you my vote
It's that mendacity
You emote

Just when I hope
You're going away
Mendacity
Deep in your eyes
Tells me you'll stay

Alright, Okay, You Win

(Tune: "Alright, Okay, You Win")

Well alright, okay, you win
I'm still stuck with you
Well alright, okay, you win
I mean, what can I do?
But I'm not gonna sit and pout
I'll find a way to get you out

All that I am askin'
All I want from you
Is sign your resignation
It won't be hard to do

Well alright, okay, you win
I'm still stuck with you
Well alright, okay, you win
But we're clearly not through
We're gonna make you hit the road
And get the city back on code
Okay!

You'd Be So Nice To Still Believe In

(Tune: "You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To")

You'd be so nice to still believe in
You'd be so nice to still trust
With so much to do
On our avenues
You'd be great -- except for your lust

In this time of Barack Obama
Honesty's the theme of design
Here you failed us
You're still clueless
Would you please just resign?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Witch Hunt!

So what if the mayor
Seduced a teen
His private life
Not your concern
Witch hunt!
Witch hunt!
So what if the mayor

So what if the mayor
Lied to us all
Defamed a foe
Got others to lie
Witch hunt!
Witch hunt!
So what if the mayor

So what if the mayor
Broke city code
Disgraced the office
Embarassment
Witch hunt!
Witch hunt!
So what if the mayor

So what if the mayor
Won't resign
Time will pass
People forget
Witch hunt!
Witch hunt!
So what if the mayor

It Ain't Worth A Tooth

(Tune: "It Don't Mean A Thing")

It ain't worth a tooth
If it ain't got the truth
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah

It ain't worth a tooth
If it's something uncouth
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah

It makes no difference if it's sweet or hot
Your credibility is all you've got

It ain't worth a tooth
If it ain't got the truth
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah
Doo wah doo wah doo wah doo wah

Status Quo

Get a grip
Don't you know that Portland's hip?
Bad news passes, just a blip
Buck up and move on

You forgot
Everybody lies, so what?
It's just the politician's lot
Buck up and move on

He's my mayor
I don't care who he's seducing
Or what secret schemes deducing
Buck up and move on

Double Standard

What if the mayor wasn't gay
A teenage honey was his prey
They kiss at seventeen
Next year the whole cuisine
Would we let such a mayor stay?

If hetero, the mayor's a perv
And getting booted quite deserved
But gay, he gets a break
He just made a mistake
And here somehow we lose our nerve

A double-standard is at work
Here up in arms, there just a shirk
What happened is the same
What changes is the shame
A double-standard is at work

Monday, January 26, 2009

July In Portland

(Tune: "April In Paris")

July in Portland
Recall election
Gathering people
Do the right thing

July in Portland
What a strange feeling
When your own mayor
Thinks he's a king

I'm sorry that it came to this
Months and months of such despair
I'm sorry that the mayor's kiss
Caused more lies than we could bear
Till

July in Portland
Let's find a mayor
Who always tells us
The truth

Fly Me To The Moon

(Tune: "Fly Me To The Moon")

Fly me to the moon
Or anywhere away from here
Set me down where there's a calmer
Saner atmosphere

In other words, please resign
In other words, do the right thing

How can you expect me
To believe anything you say?
You've lost credibility
Lost context to persuade

In other words, save the city
In other words, just resign

Don't Explain

(Tune: "Don't Explain")

Hush now, don't explain
Just say you'll remain
You're still my mayor
Don't explain

Quiet, don't explain
What is there to gain?
I believe in you still
Don't explain

You know that I support you
You'll always have my vote
All my thoughts are of you
I won't be a turncoat
Hurts to hear folks chatter
Cause they think you cheat
Right and wrong don't matter
With turncoats to defeat

Hush now, don't explain
Although you caused me pain
You're still my mayor
Don't explain

What Is Is

I never had sex with that woman
When I put my cigar up her twat
She didn't inhale
I didn't assail
Her, never did I add the dot

What happened depends on what is is
Is what is what is is what was
It's all very clear
Though you try to besmear
I never had sex just because!

And if she blew me in my office
It isn't as bad as you think
I wasn't the first
With insatiable thirst
It's really more normal than kink

I never insulted my office
And never my oath abrogate
But the job has such stress
I needed a rest
I needed more head and less state

Late June

(Tune: "High Noon")

Do not forsake me, Mr. Mayor
On this important day
Do not forsake me, Mr. Mayor
Move, move along

I do not know what fate awaits you
I only know you must be brave
And you must face the truth about you
Or be a coward
A cravin' coward
Or be a coward to your grave

Or to be torn twix truth and honor
How can you not see you're a goner?
Look at that big sun move along
Nearin' late June
There'll be a recall election
It's gonna clean up this infection
Look at that big sun move along
What will you do when you're kicked out?

Do not forsake me, Mr. Mayor
You still have one chance to be brave
If you'd just sign your resignation
And save this city
Our Puddle City
And save this city from the grave

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Lie To Me

(Tune: "All Of Me")

Lie to me
Come on and lie to me
Don't you see
I don't give a kumquat

Twist the facts
It makes no difference
Swing the ax
I'll always listen

Your big deeds
Just what the city needs
If it bleeds
It's not my concern

You have the smarts
To capture my heart
So come on, and lie to me!

Mentoring

(Tune: "True Love")

I give to you
And you take from me
Mentoring
Mentoring

My lips meet yours
And your lips meet mine
Mentoring
Mentoring

You see in me a man of such honor
The man that you want to be

So let's meet tonight
In the City Hall men's room
Mentoring
Mentoring

Let's Tell A Lie

(Tune: "Let's Fall In Love")

The left does it
The right does it
Even middle of the road does it
Let's do it
Let's tell a lie

A President does it
A Senator does it
Who cares if a mere Mayor does it?
Let's do it
Let's tell a lie

Straights do it
Gays do it
Even polymorphous wannabes do it
Let's do it
Let's tell a lie

It's just when folks over there do it
Who aren't agreeing with me
Their lies run scum through it
They're not trustworthy
Like me when

I do it
I know it
I manipulate the whole of it
I own it
I am the lie

Bright Lights, Big City

Bright lights, Big city
Gone to the mayor's head

I voted for the mayor
I believed the things he said
And every time I turn around
The truth stands on its head

Bright lights, Big city
Gone to the mayor's head

Don't care about his bedroom
Don't care about his beau
But when he lies right to my face
I think he's gotta go

He's carvin' up the city
Into the pro's and con's
And everyone is callin' us
The city of morons

Why won't he do the right thing?
And give the city peace?
Until he's out of office
This madness will not cease

And if he thinks he's in the right
Then take it to the polls
And let us vote with all the facts
And rest our weary souls

Bright lights, Big city
Gone to the mayor's head

I'm the Mayor!

(to tune of Ragmop)

I say S
I say S - A
S - A - M
S - A - M - A
S - A - M - A - D - A - M - S
I'm the mayor!
Doodle-eat-dop-ee-dobbie
I'm the mayor!
Doodle-eat-dop-ee-dobbie
I'm the mayor!
Doodle-eat-dop-ee-dobbie
I'm the mayor!
Doodle-eat-dop-ee-dobbie
S - A - M - A - D - A - M - S
I'M THE MAYOR!!

The Stereotype Waltz

Don't make me a stereotype
With your homophobic smear
A grown man with a teenage boy
Is nothing you should fear

I'm just a mentor to the boy
It's nothing more than that
I'm helping him to find himself
I'm not another stat

Don't make me a stereotype
We've put those days behind
I'm not a gay man on the prowl
I love him for his mind

And if I kiss him in the john
And even on the mouth
Don't make me a stereotype
I don't need any help

Kissing Is Not Sexual

Kissing is not sexual
It's friendly and it's cord-u-al
I'm speaking to you factual
My tongue is down his throat

A minute kiss is just a peck
Saliva drooling, what the heck
When first we kiss and then we neck
And then I get his coat

You people have a dirty mind
I'm just helping the boy unwind
And mentoring a bit in kind
And asking for his vote

Kissing is not sexual
In this case quite consensual
And oh! the kid's adorable
I almost want to gloat